Things Found in My Purse

• Duct tape
• Scotch tape
• Electrical cables
  
• Roll-on anti-perspirant (from Days Inn)
• Batteries
• Padlock
• Sunglasses
• Advil
• Red pen
• Tire pressure gauge
• Exacto knife
• Picture of a baby
• Post-it notes
  

Cheap Decorating Idea

Jeremy and I are fairly settled in the apartment but one wall remained to be decorated. We were feeling adventurous and decided to buy some wall decals online. They were pretty cheap and claimed to be completely removable, leaving no residue or damage.

They arrived yesterday and I LOVE them! They are easy to use, really don't leave any marks on the wall, and within an hour the living room looked much cooler. The trees were in honor of Jeremy's work with phylogenies and the birds echo a bird/nature theme we have going elsewhere.

Here are a few pictures:

BEFORE

AFTER

From Mischa, With Love Pt. 2

We were awakened in the middle of the night by Mischa's barfing. Unfortunately, when we got up this morning, we were not able to locate his creation.

I'll keep you posted on the whereabouts.

Consequently, Mischa has earned some new letters after his name. Mischa, S.V.U. (Stealth Vomiting Unit)

From Mischa, With Love

Our apartment is great and we enjoy living here. Our only complaint is the street noise when the windows are open. The passing cars I can handle, but the INSANELY loud stereos are hard to deal with. Country, rap, 80s, 90s, disco - you name it, and drivers blast it. I am not vindictive, generally speaking, but there is something so rude about loud stereos I just can't resist fantasizing about retaliation.

I have decided to post a warning, and begin enforcing my own noise ordinance. Trunk rattlers will now risk being on the receiving end of a catapult filled with feline waste. Being on the second floor, I can get some speed going and fling a steaming bag of poo right into the open windows. Perhaps I will attach a note? (Pardon my French.) "Please keep your crap to yourself and I'll do the same." :)

This would make a good watercolor painting

Yesterday was postdoc appreciation day, so I posed as a postdoc and went with Jeremy to a lovely wine and cheese reception near campus. I have discovered that the secret to posing as a biologist is to ask other people "What system do you work on?" Also, wear Chacos.

En route to campus I saw a sign that read:

Lost Blue Parakeet
Answers to the Name Ellen or Randy
Please Call If Found

I found this funny. Lost pets make me sad, but a parakeet named Ellen OR Randy makes me giggle.

And then, speaking of giggling, I came across protestors who had organized a rally in response to the proposed 33% hike in college tuition. (This was not the funny part.) There were five news trucks filming. However, in the midst of the protest circle was a huge sign that said something about Solidarity in or with Malaysia. I'm not sure if this protest within the protest was related to or just parasitizing the initial march. I feel as though I should have something prepared for the future in case I have an opportunity for good media coverage!

In the background of this scene was (or course) a shirtless man hula-hooping and a young woman with a bow and quiver full of arrows.

New Observations

1. Womankind has reached a new low: I saw a girl wearing a shirt reading "Breakfast Included". (Perhaps she did not understand what this implies? Maybe English was not her first language??)

2. We have a neighborhood medical marijuana lounge.

That's all for now.

How I know I'm not in Alabama, Indiana, or Texas

1. While strolling through the Ghirardelli Chocolate Festival, we saw a young man in his early 20s wearing an enormous fake mustache and a neon green trucker hat.

2. There was a "Clean Needle Exchange" truck parked on our street yesterday.

3. I saw a man wearing saddle shoes, purple tube socks, capri pants, a woman's blouse, and a Naval officer's hat walking into Office Max.

4. There is a city-sponsored FOOD WASTE recycling program. ?? (Where does it go? I didn't think you could compost juice boxes or meat?)

5. I can buy a t-shirt with a hammer and sickle from street vendors.

6. There is a car parked across from our house with a bumper sticker that reads, "Don't Burn Out, Burn On".

7. The Pacific Ocean and the mountains are each within 10 minutes of our apartment.

8. We live in a "Nuclear Free Zone" according to the signs.

9. We don't have air conditioning and don't really need it.

10. Gas is $3.20/gallon!

Pray Before You Scratch

Jeremy and I traveled to a wedding in Iowa not too long ago. In addition to ourselves, Jeremy's parents, sister and brother-in-law made the trip. While stopped at an Exxon station on the way out of town we picked up scratch-off lottery tickets. Huddled together around the door to the minivan, we all scratched in search of small fortunes.

While we were immersed in this task, a woman with a shirt reading BRANSON walked up to us and inquired rather kindly, "Are y'all having a morning prayer meeting?"

Aha! So THAT'S where we went wrong! You've got to pray BEFORE you scratch!

We are an honest bunch, so we admitted that no, we were only engaged in a morning gambling meeting.

At least we did it as a family though, right?